Saying Goodbye
Carly Simon: "I'll wait no more for you, like a daughter. That part of our life together is over. But I'll wait for you, forever, like a river. In the river I know I'll find the key. And your voice will rise like the spray. I'm right beside you. I'll never turn away." from Like a River
Every stage of our lives has its own rhythm or drumbeat. Some years speed by so quickly that it's easy to feel almost cheated. Other times or events have such a surreal, altered reality. And toward the end of life, time is often spent just waiting. Waiting for the medical tests. Waiting for the test results. Waiting to see the doctor. Waiting for dinner. Waiting for visitors. Waiting for the nurses' shift change.
Then reality tilts again and the waiting changes... a little the same, a little different. Waiting for the call from hospice. Waiting for the delivery of the hospital bed. Waiting for a change in vital signs. Waiting for the next dose of morphine.
The time spent waiting is also spent reading aloud - Kahlil Gibran's poetry and children's books. Or listening to music - big band, classical, religious. Laughter is heard from another room as favorite family stories are retold and songs are sung. The moon fades, the sun rises and hands are held, tears shed and prayers recited.
Eventually the room is unnaturally still, quiet and empty. The eyeglasses are neatly folded and sit on the bedside table. Favorite pillows are carefully placed on chairs. The TV screen is dark and unblinking. Lamps are turned off. It's as if the room and its contents are also waiting for her to return.
Sometimes song lyrics or book passages come to mind when we need them the most. They can remind us that we're not alone in our experiences, especially loss. Carly Simon's song Like a River begins with sisters sorting through their deceased mother's items, fighting over pearls when the real struggle is with fear, grief and exhaustion. It happens every day in many families, in many communities.
The Baby Boomer generation (1945-1964) is saying goodbye to the Greatest Generation (1910-1925). In 2015, it was estimated that veterans of World War II were dying at a rate of approximately 492 each day. National World War II Museum (New Orleans) and Veterans Administration report that there are fewer than one million remaining, out of 16 million, of those who served. California has the most veterans with approximately 93,000; Alaska has the fewest at about 1500. According to the U.S. Census Bureau and U.S. Department of Commerce, in 2012, six percent of the general American population was 75 years and older; 1.9 percent of the population was 85 years or older.
When saying goodbye gets to be too difficult or overwhelming, there are counselors, doctors, family, friends and support groups. And books - poetry, memoirs and guides may help with the worst of days.
The Theft of Memory - Jonathan Kozol. Simply stated by Kozol, he lost his father to Alzheimer's disease one day at a time.
Let's Take the Long Way Home - Gail Caldwell. Women's friendships and loss are poignantly shared in this elegantly written memoir.
A Widow's Story - Joyce Carol Oates. Oates' story of rebuilding her life after her husband's death.
The Year of Magical Thinking & Blue Nights - Joan Didion. The author brings readers along on dealing with grief after experiencing deaths of her husband and daughter.
When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi. This memoir about dying has been described as moving and thoughtful by the Washington Post.
Bettyville - George Hodgman. Be prepared to laugh and cry (sometimes at the same time) while reading this memoir of caring for an aging, often difficult parent.
The End of Your Life Book Club - Will Schwalbe. Books and long conversations about books were shared by Schwalbe and his mother. Readers will feel as if they personally knew his mother.
The Last Lecture - Randy Pausch. A popular professor leaves his students with the gift of a final lecture on life and death.
Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant? - Roz Chast. A cartoon memoir, Chast introduces us to her parents and their increasing need for care...and their eccentricities.
What Comes Next and How to Like It - Abigail Thomas. This memoir is about what happens after grief...aging, creativity, friendship and the bonds of family (and dogs).
* * * * *
Mary Chapin Carpenter: "Grief rides quietly on the passenger side/unwanted company on a long, long drive." from Learning the World
* * * * *
The Truth About Grief - Ruth Davis Konigsberg. An examination of grief quite different from the often quoted work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Is it possible that humans are "pretty well programmed to get over loss"?
Final Gifts - Maggie Callahan & Patricia Kelley. Two hospice nurses share their experiences with death and grief.
Other books about grief:
Comfort: A Journey Through Grief - Ann Hood
American Book of Living and Dying - Richard Groves & Henriette A. Klauser
Refined by Fire - Mary Potter Kenyon
Kayak Morning - Roger Rosenblatt
Other books to consider:
Ten Poems to Say Goodbye - Roger Housden.
Mayo Clinic Handbook for Happiness - Amit Soud MD
Mary Chapin Carpenter: "I saw my father in a dream last night. He was smiling and saying you're going to be alright. And this morning I stared back at myself feeling as empty as I've ever felt. But I keep on going and I hope I've learned more of what's right than what's wrong." from Chasing What's Already Gone
* * * * *
If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to Read With Enthusiasm. It's easy. Look for follow by email at the top right corner of the blog. Submit your email address. You'll receive a follow-up email to activate your subscription. Thank you.
Saturday, March 12, 2016
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
March
Dr. Seuss: "Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try."
I have it on good authority that Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems is a big hit with toddlers. This same pint-sized source also likes My New Baby by Rachel Fuller, What Baby Needs by Sears/Kelly, and Elmo.
If you're fortunate to have a book-loving toddler in your life, good for you! Have fun browsing in the book store and don't get overwhelmed by all the choices. There are new books surely destined to become the next generation's classics, but the books we greatly loved are still on the shelves and ready to entertain. Don't hesitate to buy books written by a perennial treasure: Dr. Seuss. Remind yourself of the hilarity of my personal favorite - Green Eggs and Ham. You won't go wrong with Sandra Boynton's board books, also favored by my two-and-a-half year old book buddy. My favorite Boynton? Moo Baa La La La. His favorite? Any of the Little Pookie series. You can depend on Eric Carle or Bill Martin to bring big smiles to little faces. Start with The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. Lois Ehlert's books are beautiful in both artwork and language. Check out Snowballs and Feathers for Lunch. Read again or for the first time: Robert McCloskey's Blueberries for Sal and Make Way for Ducklings; Corduroy by Don Freeman; Swimmy by Leo Lionni; The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein; Margaret Wise Brown's Goodnight Moon; The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats and Where's Spot? by Eric Hill.
Newer books that are fun to read and sometimes prompt an awww include: Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney; The Day the Crayons Quit by Drew Daywait; Click Clack Moo by Doreen Cronin; When the World Was Waiting For You by Gillian Shields; The Napping House by Audrey Wood & Don Wood; We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Helen Oxenbury & Michael Rosen; the Pigeon series by Mo Willems, and Nancy Tillman's Wherever You Are and On the Night You Were Born.
Compilations of lullabies and rhymes are also perfect gift and read-aloud choices. Look for Favorite Nursery Rhymes from Mother Goose by Scott Gustafson, The Real Mother Goose by Blanche Fisher Wright or Mary Englebreit's Mother Goose. Lullaby collections include Go In and Out of the Window by Dan Fox, and Lullabies: An Illustrated Songbook by the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Don't overlook Mem Fox's Time for Bed.
For an innovative way to introduce your toddler to great literature, look for the Baby Lit series by Jennifer Adams. Topics such as camping, colors and sounds are explored in books modeled after Moby Dick, Dracula and other classics.
The vibrant artist Charley Harper (1922-2007) introduces toddlers to colors, numbers and the alphabet in eye-popping books.
Find a comfy chair and have fun reading with your own little book buddies.
March Days
1 - Peace Corps Day
1-7 - National Write a Letter of Appreciation Week
2 - Dr. Seuss Day (1904-1991)
Read Across America Day
3 - World Book Day
4 - National Grammar Day
5 - Sock Monkey Day
6-12- Celebrate Your Name Week
National Words Matter Week
Read an e-book Week
7 - Fun Facts About Names Day
7-13- Women of Aviation Week
11 - Middle Name Pride Day
13 - Daylight Savings Time ends...Spring ahead!
14 - Pi Day 3.141592...
15 - Ides of March
17 - St. Patrick's Day
18-20- Sherlock Holmes Weekend
20 - First Day of Spring
20-26- World Folktales and Fables Week
21 - Poetry Day
27- 4/1-National Cleaning Week
30 - Pencil Day
- Doctors Day
March is National Kite Month, National Craft Month, National Women's History Month, Small Press Month, National March Into Literacy Month and Sing With Your Child Month.
* * * * *
Spring can be celebrated with a trip to the library or book store. Check out new books by these authors: Harlan Coben, Clive Cussler, J.A. Jance, James Grippando, James Patterson, Beverly Lewis, Jennifer Chiaverini, Tomie DePaola, Donna Leon, Danielle Steel, Stephen King, Jacqueline Winspear, Helen Simonson, Fern Michaels, Jeffrey Archer, Karen Kingsbury, Joanne Fluke, Jim Harrison, Randy Wayne White, Mary Kay Andrews, Anne Perry and Augusten Burroughs. Also, look for a Harry Potter coloring book!
* * * * *
If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to Read With Enthusiasm. It's easy. Look for follow by email at the top right corner of the blog. Submit your email address. You'll receive a follow-up email to activate your subscription. Thank you!
Dr. Seuss: "Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try."
I have it on good authority that Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems is a big hit with toddlers. This same pint-sized source also likes My New Baby by Rachel Fuller, What Baby Needs by Sears/Kelly, and Elmo.
If you're fortunate to have a book-loving toddler in your life, good for you! Have fun browsing in the book store and don't get overwhelmed by all the choices. There are new books surely destined to become the next generation's classics, but the books we greatly loved are still on the shelves and ready to entertain. Don't hesitate to buy books written by a perennial treasure: Dr. Seuss. Remind yourself of the hilarity of my personal favorite - Green Eggs and Ham. You won't go wrong with Sandra Boynton's board books, also favored by my two-and-a-half year old book buddy. My favorite Boynton? Moo Baa La La La. His favorite? Any of the Little Pookie series. You can depend on Eric Carle or Bill Martin to bring big smiles to little faces. Start with The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. Lois Ehlert's books are beautiful in both artwork and language. Check out Snowballs and Feathers for Lunch. Read again or for the first time: Robert McCloskey's Blueberries for Sal and Make Way for Ducklings; Corduroy by Don Freeman; Swimmy by Leo Lionni; The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein; Margaret Wise Brown's Goodnight Moon; The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats and Where's Spot? by Eric Hill.
Newer books that are fun to read and sometimes prompt an awww include: Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney; The Day the Crayons Quit by Drew Daywait; Click Clack Moo by Doreen Cronin; When the World Was Waiting For You by Gillian Shields; The Napping House by Audrey Wood & Don Wood; We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Helen Oxenbury & Michael Rosen; the Pigeon series by Mo Willems, and Nancy Tillman's Wherever You Are and On the Night You Were Born.
Compilations of lullabies and rhymes are also perfect gift and read-aloud choices. Look for Favorite Nursery Rhymes from Mother Goose by Scott Gustafson, The Real Mother Goose by Blanche Fisher Wright or Mary Englebreit's Mother Goose. Lullaby collections include Go In and Out of the Window by Dan Fox, and Lullabies: An Illustrated Songbook by the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Don't overlook Mem Fox's Time for Bed.
For an innovative way to introduce your toddler to great literature, look for the Baby Lit series by Jennifer Adams. Topics such as camping, colors and sounds are explored in books modeled after Moby Dick, Dracula and other classics.
The vibrant artist Charley Harper (1922-2007) introduces toddlers to colors, numbers and the alphabet in eye-popping books.
Find a comfy chair and have fun reading with your own little book buddies.
March Days
1 - Peace Corps Day
1-7 - National Write a Letter of Appreciation Week
 |
| Happy birthday, Dr. Seuss! |
2 - Dr. Seuss Day (1904-1991)
Read Across America Day
3 - World Book Day
4 - National Grammar Day
5 - Sock Monkey Day
6-12- Celebrate Your Name Week
National Words Matter Week
Read an e-book Week
7 - Fun Facts About Names Day
7-13- Women of Aviation Week
11 - Middle Name Pride Day
13 - Daylight Savings Time ends...Spring ahead!
14 - Pi Day 3.141592...
15 - Ides of March
17 - St. Patrick's Day
18-20- Sherlock Holmes Weekend
20 - First Day of Spring
20-26- World Folktales and Fables Week
21 - Poetry Day
27- 4/1-National Cleaning Week
30 - Pencil Day
- Doctors Day
March is National Kite Month, National Craft Month, National Women's History Month, Small Press Month, National March Into Literacy Month and Sing With Your Child Month.
* * * * *
Spring can be celebrated with a trip to the library or book store. Check out new books by these authors: Harlan Coben, Clive Cussler, J.A. Jance, James Grippando, James Patterson, Beverly Lewis, Jennifer Chiaverini, Tomie DePaola, Donna Leon, Danielle Steel, Stephen King, Jacqueline Winspear, Helen Simonson, Fern Michaels, Jeffrey Archer, Karen Kingsbury, Joanne Fluke, Jim Harrison, Randy Wayne White, Mary Kay Andrews, Anne Perry and Augusten Burroughs. Also, look for a Harry Potter coloring book!
* * * * *
If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to Read With Enthusiasm. It's easy. Look for follow by email at the top right corner of the blog. Submit your email address. You'll receive a follow-up email to activate your subscription. Thank you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)