Mrs. Parks' Gift
"A big truck was parked in the drive one day. They wrapped us in paper and moved us away."
--Mary Chapin Carpenter "Only a Dream"
They sit quietly on a shelf in my kitchen - an old set of white ceramic salt and pepper shakers with delicately painted red roses. A casual glance at them wouldn't reveal any great value. But they are cherished reminders of my childhood. Every time I look at them, I remember Sycamore Street. And summer afternoons sipping lemonade with Mrs. Parks.
After we moved from Sycamore Street, I rarely thought of the neighbors we left behind. I was 12,and the idea that any of them would have a lasting impact on my life was remote. However, reading the 2008 obituary of a former neighbor, Ted Parks, brought back tender memories of the street where I lived as a child. His wife, Glee, had died several years earlier.
Ted and Glee Parks lived next door to us. Mr. Parks worked long hours and I rarely saw him. In my memory, he is captured as a hand waving out of a pickup truck that is slowly rolling down our street.
It was Mrs. Parks who was my friend and confidante. She was tall and thin with dark hair, and usually had a cigarette firmly attached to her lips. On summer weekend afternoons, Mrs. Parks would bring out a push mower and work in her yard. Propelled by the steady hum of the grass being clipped, I would drift over and soon become her six-year-old shadow, following her between the trees and along the drive. Eventually I would take a few laps around the yard with the mower and was rewarded with a glass of icy lemonade.
I enjoyed those summer afternoons with Mrs. Parks, sitting on her concrete front stoop. Most of the exact conversations and topics are lost to me now, but her interest in my everyday life made me feel grown up and important. One afternoon she told me about her younger brother who stuttered. I also had moments when my thoughts were faster than my mouth and I would trip over opening syllables. It was frustrating to me. In a gentle and thoughtful way, Mrs. Parks' story about her brother taught me that an occasional struggle with words didn't lessen the importance of a story or of what I had to say.
I wasn't the only one who thought Mrs. Parks was our best neighbor. Halloween was even more fun for my two sisters and me because it meant stopping first at Mrs. Parks' house. She would ooh and aah over our costumes, eventually sending us off with special treats and big smiles.
Mr. and Mrs. Parks had no children. Instead, they had two dogs - a weimaraner, Gus, and a basset hound, Gert. Some days after school, I would go outside to sit next to the fence and talk to Gus and Gert, telling them about my day. They would sit quietly huddled together as if truly understanding my stories. On snowy days, I would race Gus and Gert down our back yard hill. I'd fly on my sled and the dogs would run along the fence, barking, with Gert working hard to keep up with Gus and me.
One summer everything changed. I don't remember saying goodbye to Mrs. Parks the June morning we moved away to Florida.
It was 10 years later when, as a newly-wed, I drove past my childhood home, introducing my husband to my little bit of Kansas City. I didn't stop to visit any of the old neighbors that day, a decision that I regret.
The day I read Mr. Parks' obituary, memories came roaring back - the lemonade, the dogs and the long talks on the front stoop. Later, my sister called me with the news that she was going to the Parks' estate sale. There was one thing I requested she look for at the sale: the push mower.
The only relative there that day was Mr. Parks' nephew-in-law. He said the mower had been sold just the day before. My sister asked if she could walk through the house and, feeling overwhelmed, began to cry as she told him that Mr. and Mrs. Parks had always been our family's favorite neighbors. He was surprised, saying that Ted and Glee had always been quiet, even among family, and that he had never really gotten to know them. He said to choose something for me as a gift from Mrs. Parks' house.
She chose the now much-loved salt and pepper shaker set.
As a child, I didn't realize my good fortune of living next door to a kind woman with a push mower. Now I count that as one of my favorite stories of growing up on Sycamore Street.
Biographies and Memoirs
What is the difference between a memoir and an autobiography? An autobiography usually tells a life story in chronological order. A memoir may highlight one particular time in a life, such as Cheryl Strayed's memoir about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Either way, the stories can be eye-openers to lives otherwise only wondered about by outsiders.
Unbroken - Laura Hillenbrand. Set aside some major weekend time for this book - you may not want to leave your chair. A gripping book about Louis Zamerpini, an airman in WWII, who had his sights set on the Berlin Olympics. An absorbing story about a larger-than-life man.
Perfection - Julie Metz. After Metz' s husband died, she discovered he'd had numerous affairs. She began to methodically piece together the story of his infidelities. It's an uncomfortable story, yet I followed Metz on her journey.
Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid - Bill Bryson. Get ready to laugh. A lot. Bryson's story of growing up in 1950s Des Moines is laugh out loud and tender, with some snark thrown in.
Anne Frank - Francine Prose. Prose takes a scholarly and inviting look at the diary of Anne Frank, calling it a "work of art as well as a historical record."
A Ticket to the Circus - Norris Church Mailer. What was it like living with Norman Mailer? His fourth (and final) wife shares many stories with us.
Audition - Barbara Walters. The ground-breaking broadcaster has had an amazing life both on and off television.
By the Iowa Sea - Joe Blair. In the summer of 2008, the cities of Iowa City and Cedar Rapids (Iowa) were devastated by floods. As the water rose higher in his neighborhood and tensions grew, Blair started questioning his own life including his marriage and past choices.
Steve Jobs - Walter Isaacson. Isaacson promised to give us a full portrait of Jobs' good and less than flattering traits. He fulfilled that promise. Jobs emerged as a contradictory (who isn't?), brilliant, and complicated man.
Little Heathens - Mildred Armstrong Kalish. Life in Iowa during the Great Depression as seen through a young girl's eyes.
Beautiful Boy - David Sheff. Sheff's son has battled an addiction to crystal meth. At once this story is frightening, hopeful and loving.
Middle Place - Kelly Corrigan. The story of a family nightmare - Corrigan was battling breast cancer at the same time her father was diagnosed with bladder cancer. Still, this is also a story of a family's resilience and devotion to one another.
Grant Wood - R. Tripp Evans. You've seen the painting - the farmer and his wife in front of a small, tidy white house. Now learn about the artist who created "American Gothic." Wood may be best known for the single painting, but also created a stained glass masterpiece and gained respect for his metal work.
Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake - Anna Quindlen. This book is like an afternoon with an old friend and a cup of tea. Quindlen mulls over the changes that aging, parenthood and marriage have brought to her life.
Glass Castle - Jeannette Walls. A jaw-dropping memoir of growing up with parents who have questionable child-rearing techniques, and mental health issues.
Bossypants - Tina Fey. Get ready to laugh, and to have an occasional lump in your throat. Fey's storytelling is phenomenal. I enjoyed learning more about life backstage at SNL and 30 Rock.
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life - Barbara Kingsolver. Imagine that for one year that you would only eat food that you or a local farmer grew. No fast food, no fruit from exotic locales. Follow along on this family's attempt to eat differently and independently for one year.
Year of Magical Thinking - Joan Didion. Didion experienced the deaths of both her husband and daughter in a relatively short time. This is the agonizing, well-written memoir of that time.
This Boy's Life - Tobias Wolff. Dark, funny, tragic describe, but don't entirely capture the story of Wolff's childhood.
Basketball Diaries - James Carroll. Another dark, funny and tragic tale of growing up.
Into the Wild - Jon Krakauer. What happens when a young man decides to move to the Alaskan wilderness to test himself? Krakauer examines the life of Christopher McCandless. You won't be able to put the book down!
In the Garden of Beasts - Erik Larsen. The rise of the Hitler regime as seen through the eyes of the Dodd family. William E. Dodd was the American ambassador to Germany.
Change Me Into Zeus' Daughter - Barbara Robinette Moss. Moss' childhood was difficult, to say the least. As tragic as it was, there are still gently funny aspects of growing up in the South. Moss died in 2009.
Ambulance Girl - Jane Stern. Stern was in her 50s, overweight and increasingly stressed when she decided to push herself to work as a volunteer EMT. You may recognize her as half of the Jane and Michael Stern writing duo - they specialize in food and restaurant reviews. This is one of my favorite books.
The Fall of the House of Vanderbilt - Arthur Vanderbilt. F. Scott Fitzgerald was right - the rich really are different! Offers interesting look at the Vanderbilt wealth as well as American history.
Here If You Need Me - Kate Braestrup. Braestrup was a young widow when she felt a calling to begin work as a chaplain for the wardens who conduct search and rescue missions in Maine. Lyrical yet spare writing make this book a delight to read.
Cleopatra - Stacy Schiff. Definitely not the Hollywood version of the Queen of the Nile's life. Still, loads of drama and intrigue!
There's no shortage to celebrity memoirs. And this is a short list!
Check out these books by or about:Sheila Weller - Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell and Carly Simon
Patti Boyd - Wonderful Tonight
Keith Richards - Life
Warren Zevon - I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
Eric Clapton - Clapton: The Autobiography
Carly Simon - More Room in a Broken Heart
Roseanne Cash - Composed
Gregg Allman - My Cross to Bear
Patti Smith - Just Kids
Rue McClanahan - My First Five Husbands
Melissa Gilbert - Prairie Tale
Carol Burnett - This Time Together
Valerie Bertinelli - Losing It & Finding It
Carrie Fisher - Wishful Drinking
Ali Wentworth - Ali in Wonderland
***What I'm reading now: Every Love Story is a Ghost Story: Life of David Foster Wallace - D.T. Max. Definitely a book to read slowly and get to know the incredibly talented writer, DFW.
***What's on hold at the library: Paris: A Love Story - Kati Marton. I'm looking forward to reading Marton's memoir about life with two very different husbands - Peter Jennings (journalist) and Richard Holbrooke (ambassador).
