Thank you

Robert Louis Stevenson: "The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life."


In January, we are supposed to lose weight, organize our homes, dance to polka music and hunt for happiness.** With the temperature below zero, I look forward to combining two other celebrations - National Hot Tea Month and Book Blitz Month. There's one more observation that I don't want to overlook. January is National Thank You Month.

Saying "thank you" is (usually) one of our earliest lessons and certainly one of the most important. Where would we be without gratitude?

At our nephew's wedding reception, guests were asked to write down advice for the newlyweds. Immediately, I thought of five simple words. Thank you. Please. You're welcome.

What are you thankful for in your life? Good health? Education? Wealth? Children? 

The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California/Berkeley and University of California/Davis have teamed up to study the practice of gratitude and its effects on society. Saying thank you may help us in more ways than just making the recipient smile.

According to Robert Emmons, who has studied the effects of gratitude, there are improvements in our physical, psychological and social well-being linked with being grateful. He wrote "Gratitude is Good" for the Greater Good Science Center at UC/Berkeley and reported that people who practice gratitude consistently reap benefits such as lower blood pressure, stronger immune systems, experience more joy and pleasure, and are more outgoing and forgiving. "This doesn't mean life is perfect," Emmons wrote. "It doesn't ignore complaints, burdens and hassles. But when we look at our lives as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some account of goodness in our life."

Still not convinced?

Francesca Gino, an associate professor at Harvard University and author of "Sidetracked: Why Our Decisions Get Derailed and How We Can Stick to the Plan," said that "receiving expressions of gratitude make us feel a heightened sense of self-worth and that in turn triggers other helpful behaviors towards both the person we are helping and other people, too." She conducted experiments with students receiving either a curt acknowledgement or a friendly note of thanks for their work editing a mediocre cover letter. Students who received the curt acknowledgment said they'd be less likely to help in the future, according to an article in the Harvard Gazette.

In his book, "The End of Your Life Book Club," Will Schwalbe wrote often of gratitude. He credited his mother for teaching him the value of thank you in note or verbal form. "What I suddenly understood was that a thank you note isn't the price you pay for receiving a gift...but an opportunity to count your blessings," he wrote. Schwalbe found a letter penned by his mother that included this thought: "Just by giving friendship and love, you keep the people around you from giving up - and each expression of friendship or love may be the one that makes all the difference."

Gratitude played a role in changing John Kralik's life. Kralik, author of "365 Thanks Yous," was battling a life in disarray - a second divorce, estrangement from his older children, a sinking law firm, and a sizable weight gain. He picked up a pen and started writing thank you notes. He wrote notes to clients and friends, to a coffee barista and a doctor. Neighbors and hotel security guards received notes. Family members were thanked for their care and patience. 

Did it change his life?

Much like Emmons' discovery, Kralik's life did not become perfect and carefree but after 365 notes in 15 months, there was great change. Relationships had grown stronger, and Kralik realized that "I had examined the life I had viewed as perfectly awful and found that it was a lot better than I had been willing to acknowledge. Maybe I was not such a bad person after all." 

Or in the words of Carol Stuart who wrote "The Thank You Book" for children, "This saying thank you stuff is okay. The words don't cost you anything, but they are so good that people gobble them up like milk chocolate candies and vanilla ice cream cones."

Thank you!



                                               Book ideas 


Will Schwalbe - "The End of Your Life Book Club"
John Kralik - "365 Thank Yous"
Carol Stuart - "The Thank You Book" (juvenile)
Peggy Post & Cindy Post Senning - "Emily's Everyday Manners" (juvenile)
Eric Hill - "Spot Says Please" (juvenile)
Richard Scarry - "Please and Thank You Book" (juvenile)
Deborah Norville - "Thank You Power"
Connie Leas - "The Art of Thank You"
Margaret Shepherd - "The Art of the Handwritten Note"
Jimmy Fallon (and others) - "Thank You Notes" which includes notes such as:
Thank you...screen saver that popped up while I thought I was doing work, for reminding me that not only have I made zero progress, but I also haven't made a single keystroke, or even nudged my mouse, for the past 15 minutes."  



**It's true - this is:
Get Organized Month, National Polka Music Month, Book Blitz Month, National Hot Tea Month. Also, National Lose Weight Week is Jan. 5-12. National Letter Writing Week is Jan. 8-14, and Hunt for Happiness Week is Jan. 19-25.