Dear Hannah

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." >>Harriet Tubman

Dear Hannah, 

This weekend, as you graduate and move forward into the next stage of your life, you'll hear a lot of reminiscing from your older relatives. We'll be asking ourselves where did the years go? How did Hannah grow up so fast? A family member was recently sitting at a stop light when the thought suddenly occurred that if the baby we all gushed over is now graduating from college, how old does that make me? Because we remember when you were born, and the way you entertained us at the family reunion belting out a Britney Spears song. We remember when you won awards at school, landed your first summer job, and when you learned to drive.

 Family events - weddings, funerals and graduations, are times to gather and embrace, celebrate and reflect.

And, oh boy, hand out the advice.

That's the other feature of every graduation. Along with reminiscing, arrives boatloads of advice. Between the Hannah-as-a-little-girl stories, will be an abundance of serious life counsel. But please bear with us. It's not merely advice. It's also wishing that we could go back to our own 20s and be smarter. Tougher. To have had at least a few things figured out. That same woman at the stoplight who was struck that you're graduating, also wishes she'd known how to navigate office politics, where the supply closet was, and how to deal with difficult professional situations.

You were raised by two parents, grandparents, and an aunt who all believed in helping out. A covered dish, a card, a warm hug. In an office, those can be substituted by equally considerate gestures such as a smile, a surprise afternoon snack, an offer to stay late and help. 

Don't be afraid to ask questions but don't be afraid of following your own instincts. If you make a mistake, own up to it, figure out how to make it right, and if necessary, apologize. 

And now for the occasional landmine that is a co-worker or boss. Co-workers can be a fun, interesting, supportive part of our professional lives. They can also be frustrating, demanding and underhanded. Hopefully your generation has more awareness of bullying and harassment. When you start your new job, learn what the policies are concerning harassing behavior. Know the boundaries. Know your own boundaries. If someone bullies or harasses you in any way - document! Tell a trusted friend. Tell your HR representative. Try to never be alone with that person. Conversely, there are stories to share after work with friends accompanied by glasses of wine and laughter. I had a co-worker who chose lunch time to wander into the lounge area to floss her teeth as a group of us settled in to eat. I wasn't sure whether to laugh in disgust or go eat in my office. After the assistant director recovered from her own shock, she politely asked the staff person to floss in the bathroom. The woman left the lounge and as far as I know, never flossed outside of a bathroom again. 

Keep a tidy office! It doesn't have to be sterile, but occasionally stand at the door and try to see your office as a co-worker or visitor would. Does the office look like a creative diligent person works there or resemble a room from A & E's Hoarders series?  

Keep your social media tidy. To repeat, it doesn't have to be sterile, but occasionally stand back and read your posts as a co-worker or visitor would. Does your social media sound like a creative diligent person?

Be kind.

Hold on to your grace and belief in humanity. An easy and fun way to hold on is to read a picture book. You'll have an enjoyable flashback of your mom reading to you while escaping into another world. Pick up a book by Amy Krouse Rosenthal, Eric Carle, Lois Ehlert. If you've had an especially tough day, read a Sandra Boynton book OUT LOUD and laugh along with zany hippos, cows and dogs.

We are so proud of you, Hannah. Always remember that you have your very own cheering section known as your extended family. 

Take a deep breath and start moving forward. 

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         Books for graduates (and everybody else, too!)

This is Water - David Foster Wallace

Make Good Art - Neil Gaiman

Seussisms - Dr. Seuss

She Believed She Could, So She Did - Kathy Weller

What Now? - Ann Patchett

I Wish You More & Dear Girl - Amy K. Rosenthal

In Conclusion, Don't Worry About It - Lauren Graham

Yay, You! - Sandra Boynton

Congratulations, By the Way - George Saunders 

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